A Serious Question To Every Author I Know

Can someone PLEASE point me in the direction of a publication that would be HAPPY to take humor horror type of stories? I've got a vampire biker bar brawl story that I honestly think has potential to be a fun read for people and I can't see ANY publisher out there taking submissions for something like this.

Writer's Market stopped printing a few years back. I'm looking through Submission Grinder for possibilities but I've been getting rejections with the submissions I've done through them over the years. 

I'm tired of the rejections. It's one of the reasons I've gone to self-publish with Funny Locations to get my stories out there to any readers. But some of these stories I have, I'd like to get them submitted to legitimate publications as a kind of validation, you know?

I understand it's a tough market - and it's getting worse with all this AI-generated crap that the publishers are getting swamped - but I would like help finding the right place to submit the kind of stories I write to the people who'll like them.

/sigh

Time for more Royal Palm Submissions 2024 edition

So I'm submitting more work to the annual Florida Writers Association's Royal Palm Literary Awards for 2024.

I've put in four of my blog articles from the other site to see how they fare.

I tried uploading my short story anthology for the Anthology - Prose category, but that submission page didn't provide an "upload file" option. Could be a few bugs in the submission process as they've just opened it today. I'll try tomorrow.

Update: MOTHERF--- I just found out this morning when I logged back in that FWA is limiting the number of total submissions to FOUR now. It was FIVE the last couple of years, and now they've... mutter grumble... I can't remove one of my blog articles now, since I've paid for the submissions and there's no refunds on them.

I will have to remember to submit Funny Locations for NEXT year, and also see about arguing to get the max limit back to FIVE. /rage

Submitting to FWA 2022

Okay, I've done my ego some good submitting a number of works to the Florida Writers Association's annual Royal Palm Literary Awards!

I sent in five articles from my political blog for the Short Non-Fiction/Blogging category, hopefully this year I won't be toooooo partisan in my opinions.

I also submitted two flash fiction items I'd written this 2021, both of them were for a flash publication that were not accepted, but I feel good about them so I'm trying them with the RPLA. Update: Okay it turns out I did not pay attention to the rule changes. Last time I was told you could submit up to five entries per genre, but this year it's just five entries TOTAL. So I had to weed out the two flash fiction entries and eat the "No Refunds" consequences.

I also also submitted the FWA's annual anthology, this year themed "Thrills and Chills," and with luck it's funny enough - well, *I* like the punchline - to impress the judges this time around.

I'm thinking about submitting one more, longer short story that I've been toiling with for years, but I need to get it done soonest before the Early Bird submission costs go up.

KEEP WRITING, FELLOW WRITERS!

Here's hoping for good news by June/July...

Writing Update for September 2021

For a submission update, the flash fiction I submitted for "Dose of Dread" did not make the cut, alas.

With October around the corner, I need to start planning for November's NaNoWriMo. 

I am still working on revising my self-published works for an updated anthology down the road.

I need to focus.

Keep Writing August 2021 Moments

Well, I finished a story today for another Strangely Funny anthology submission. It's a vampire story but it's NOT in the same 'Verse as my previous vampire (actually dhampyr) tales. We will see how it goes and if this time I win that damn t-shirt!

(is informed this is not the one with the t-shirt giveaway) AW FFFFFFFFFFFFFF--

In the meantime, I saw a Twitter posting for submissions to something called "Dose of Dread" tied into a Dread Stone Press, a sort of flash-fiction submission (between 500-1000 words) looking for straight horror. I do have a horror story of sorts sitting around that's EXACTLY within that word limit, so first day of it (Sept. 1st) I should put in for it. (I also wrote on the fly a humorous flash-fiction about how I first confused it as "Rose of Dread" and we'll see if the editor has a sense of humor) 

KEEP WRITING, PEEPS!

Starting To Get a Little Worried About Them Submissions...

Usually by this time I'd be hearing from the Royal Palm Literary Award judges if my submissions passed the Semifinalist status. I put in five items - four blog articles and one short story - so the odds should favor at least ONE of those submissions reaching this stage. 

They've at least emailed back with a "sorry, your submission couldn't qualify" the few times I didn't reach that stage, so I'm still clinging to the hope that the judges this year were probably overwhelmed by local writers catching up during the pandemic stay-at-home months with their works.

Still... I'd like to know if my Murder Hornet story is wowing the critics...

Submitting To 2020's Royal Palm Literary Awards

Just to note as a member of the Florida Writers Association, I can submit currently written works for consideration with the Royal Palm awards.

Right now, I've put in two blog articles from my political ranting site, which hopefully may impress with insight, wisdom, and the appropriate use of various curse words (I *said* it was political ranting, dammit).

I may yet have an unpublished short story to submit for the April deadline, so we'll see how that goes.

Good luck to ye all, by the by, who are writing and getting away with it.

Writing Out of My Blues

I am struggling to find the time and the motivation to write.

That's all I can say at the moment.

In the Sad News Category Regarding the 2019 FWA Royal Palm Awards

Well, I just got back word that "Road Trip to Vegas" - my submission to the Short Fiction Unpublished category for the Florida Writers Association's Royal Palm Awards - did not make the Semifinalist cut for consideration.

'Tis a pity. I hoped it would have been funny enough and good enough to pass muster.

Maybe I didn't have enough Fourth-Wall-Breaking narration in it. Yeah, that's the problem. MORE INSANE NARRATIVE DIALOGUE COMING RIGHT UP!

/owstophittingme

Look, "Road Trip to Vegas" is kind of a personal work for me, based on one of the traumatic moments of my teen years undertaking a non-stop road trip that left some emotional scars. I wrote TWO stories based on that trip, the other one being "A Face In the Light" which interestingly enough earned a Finalist status in this same category last year (I am trying to find a publisher to submit it, so far I've had a couple of rejections so... sigh...).

I still think it's one of my better works. I'm sorely tempted to package it together with other humor stories and self-publish another story anthology. I just need to get about eight or ten more stories - I have six already, maybe seven if I pull some e-published works off-market to put it together - to justify a decent-sized book.

Meanwhile, if you're looking for some GOOD news... (wait for the next blog post)

Busy New Year's Day 2019

Just been doing a few things here and there.

• I got the "Face In the Light" submitted to a magazine, see how the response goes.
• I am updating my web address info for self-marketing. I went out and snagged a new domain that I will use to redirect people to the blog here. Which may involve me renaming a few things here and there on THIS site.
  The new address is www.paulwstories.com 
• I am redoing the Writings Tab on the menu above, adding book covers to the links to provide visual info for people to follow. This is still a work in progress and may involve a complete rehaul of things.
• I am about to start work on a specific story for a specific submission, may the Old Gods and the New protect us.

Hello, 2019!

If I Want To Get Serious About Submitting Works

I did learn a few things while attending the sessions at FWA this past Saturday.

At the "Writing and Publishing Short Stories" program, the presenter mentioned a website called The Grinder as a warehouse tracking various publications asking for stories.

https://thegrinder.diabolicalplots.com/

You can search by genre (it has Fantasy separate from Scifi separate from Horror separate from Romance separate from Humor... wait, Humor? Hmmmmm) and by other elements such as fees, royalties, and type of blood sacrifice needed to get accepted. It doesn't limit searches by deadlines, so you'd have to look at each entry to see when things are due.

But here's a good motivator for a writer who wants to get published, and in different locales and different genres. I'll be looking.

Pinning This

Just pinning this here as a link to refer back to if I get the urge to submit stuff.

There's a Publishing And Other Forms Of Insanity blog that keeps track of indie mag and small press anthologies that I could submit short works to. I think it's not so much a deadline I need to find as it is a carrot to entice me to write something, ANYTHING, within a topic.

Anything for a challenge.

Submission time! Yay!

So again, I'm rushing up to the deadline for submissions, but hey I got this in this morning!

I submitted a short story "Knowing Dragons" to Darkhouse Books for their planned Shhh Murder anthology. I spotted it on a listing of online submissions - thank you, Gwendolyn Kiste! - and while it's in a genre - cozy mystery - I'm not usually working in, I noticed it was perfect for me in one regards.

The editors were going to give extra credit to anyone with a librarian background.

So, here's hoping the story passes muster!

February 2018 Misdeeds In Action

Deadlines are coming up for various writing projects.

No more distractions.

The next blog entry I post will proclaim a story finished.

I swear it.

Submission Time

I've been going through the backlog of short stories, looking to see what can be cleaned up for submissions, and I came across "Target Unknown," a scifi story that I've been dabbling with off-and-on since the 1990s that I've tried submitting before with no success.

So I cleaned it up a bit, and I found a place to shop it. (Thanks to Gwendolyn Kiste for her monthly submission suggestions!)

Electric Spec is an online quarterly, and the story fits within their guidelines, so...

Here's hoping!

Writing Notes March 2017 Update

Well, I did break that damned Writer's Block and got a story finished and submitted last night to a dark fantasy horror publication called Nightmare...

And the rejection letter came back this morning.

I actually feel more relief than despair. It used to be these rejections would take MONTHS. Thanks to advancements in technology, I can find out that my stories do not have enough sea monster in them.

Sigh.

I know, I know. Writing and submitting is 99 percent rejection. Just have to find the right story told the right way to the right audience...

Hide and Seek: the FWA Collection

As mentioned before, the Florida Writers Association is hosting an annual anthology publication and is now taking submissions for it.

Rules for it linked (PDF) here.

The theme of it is Hide and Seek, so the submission has to be some element of hiding (secrets, person, MacGuffin) and seeking (quests, self-reflection, stern chase).

Deadline is April 30th, but it helps to get it in as soon as possible.

No entry fee, but you're capped to two stories to submit. Word count is at 1,200 words (if you write about 160 words per page double-spaced using Times New Roman at 12 pt, that's seven pages).

Failure to submit properly results in your immediate deresolution.

I wanna put in for it, see how it goes.

Coming Attractions At This Saturday's Local Author Event

Just a reminder to the seven people reading this blog, I've got the Local Authors event at the Wesley Chapel Shops At Wiregrass Barnes & Noble this Saturday (May 18th) from 2 pm - 4 pm.

As part of promoting my self-published works while there, I'm also going to promote the horror-humor anthology that's publishing my short story submission.  I asked the editors if they had a flyer available so I can promote that anthology and here it is:

Ta-da!

If you zoom in you'll see my submission - "I Must Be Your First" - listed as the third title!

Yes.  Feeling chipper, I must say.

I Submitted a Short Story to a Horror Humor Anthology And All I Got Was This Writer's Agreement

...'cause I really don't need another t-shirt at the moment.

Wait, am I just admitting to the possibility I might have an honest-to-God story published somewhere?

The small-press Mystery and Horror LLC is starting up an anthology collection titled Strangely Funny.  They put a call out for submissions, got shared on Facebook, and I gave it a look-see.

I'd like to think I'm good at writing humor stories - the handful of comments I get back on my self-published collection Last of the Grapefruit Wars are for the funnier stories I wrote (my absurdist office golf tale is an award winner no less) - so I set myself down, pounded out a tale about a vampire coping with a slayer-wannabe breaking into his home, and submitted it.

They were nice enough to send back a Writer's Agreement to secure permission to include that story.

Now it's not a 100-percent guarantee it will get printed - if they get better submissions and lack the room I'll understand - and of course the editors can revamp - heh I said vamp - that story as they deem necessary.  I'm okay with the editing process just as long as they keep the core component - that Christopher Lee is a badass - of my story intact.

Meanwhile, they're still taking submissions for that Strangely Funny anthology.  Deadline is June 10th 2013.  It wouldn't hurt to submit something, you think?