Sunday, February 4, 2024

Ten Years Now with Mal the Krazy Kat

Officially, this weekend is Mal - that black panfurr, that feline of ferociousness, that tailwagger of terror - being ten years old.

It's been that long ago when I rescued mama cat Ocean from the mean streets of that Bartow apartment complex, with the warning that she might be pregnant, and then finding out YES SHE WAS when she started giving birth at the start of the Fourth Quarter Super Bowl between Denver and Seattle.


Ocean gave birth to six kittehs that night, but I held off on naming most of them until I could determine which ones were which and name them to the characters of the TV show Firefly. Until they opened their eyes, and I took them in to the vet to have them checked out. And then I waited to see which of them was the bravest - or craziest - of the lot to where I would name him Mal (two of the tuxedo kittehs were River and Simon, obviously as River was the daughter to Ocean and so the male tuxedo was Simon, the pretty grey female was Inara (almost Kaylee), the remaining male black kitteh was Jayne and the female black kitteh Zoe).


I wanted to keep one kitteh so I could feel okay about one of Ocean's babies growing up well - the animal rescue I took the remaining kittehs would not allow me to share contact info with their future forever home adoptees - and so I kept Mal thinking he would be the friendliest and fearless of the lot. Instead, Mal turned into a scaredy cat around my parents - essentially the only ones who've visited me over the years as my domicile isn't well-meant for hosting a lot of things (sigh) - and well that's how it turned out.

To ANYONE who adopted Inara, Zoe, Jayne, River and/or Simon, I can only hope they are still with us and that they've enjoyed loving homes.

In the meantime, I got stuck with THIS guy.






Happy birthday, Mal!

Ten years old. In hooman years
that means he's getting AARP mailings.


Thursday, February 1, 2024

Time for more Royal Palm Submissions 2024 edition

So I'm submitting more work to the annual Florida Writers Association's Royal Palm Literary Awards for 2024.

I've put in four of my blog articles from the other site to see how they fare.

I tried uploading my short story anthology for the Anthology - Prose category, but that submission page didn't provide an "upload file" option. Could be a few bugs in the submission process as they've just opened it today. I'll try tomorrow.

Update: MOTHERF--- I just found out this morning when I logged back in that FWA is limiting the number of total submissions to FOUR now. It was FIVE the last couple of years, and now they've... mutter grumble... I can't remove one of my blog articles now, since I've paid for the submissions and there's no refunds on them.

I will have to remember to submit Funny Locations for NEXT year, and also see about arguing to get the max limit back to FIVE. /rage

Tuesday, January 2, 2024

Next Up For 2024: Getting Published to IngramSpark

Okay, as you know I've published a book through Amazon Kindle Direct. As a librarian who teaches computer skills classes especially one on self-publishing, I need to understand the process for getting published through the OTHER market through IngramSpark, so my next project is getting my blogging article collection set up through THAT.

So I will be distracted by getting this done over the next month or so, including making an order for a book cover - what should a non-fiction book cover look like? - and then making sure the formatting is done proper (Ingram seems to use different formatting than Amazon).

I will update when I can. In the meantime, PLEASE tell your friends about Funny Locations and get them to buy copies and leave reviews! Danke.

Saturday, December 23, 2023

Witty's Year End Book Review 2023

Time flies when you're trying to get two books put together while juggling full-time librarian work. Ahh, but here we are at the end of 2023 and it's time to promote the books I've read this year that I'd like to share with you.

As a reminder, this list is not the best books that came out this year, but the best of what I've read this year. This means the book could be published five-ten years ago and I've just gotten around to it. The book should well be available in your local library (or you can always purchase online).

Best Fiction

Gator A-Go-Go, Tim Dorsey

A sad reason for re-reading this book due to the passing of author Tim Dorsey, writer of the Serge Storms series of wacky violent Florida-themed crime thrillers.

I decided to reach back to some of the better books in that series, and this story - an unusually dark tale even for Dorsey - stood out. If you've read one Serge book, you'll notice how most of the others will go: Serge and his drug-addled Sancho Panza figure (Coleman here) will get involved in a zany scheme to revel in a particular Floridian trend, in this story the annual Spring Break craziness of college students partying at the popular beaches. There will be a parallel story involving relative innocent characters - this time a college student getting hunted by a violent drug cartel seeking retribution - that Serge will intercept and then drag along to protect those characters all the while driving across the Sunshine State and driving everybody else mad.

Gator A-Go-Go is notable for throwing in a large number of side characters that Dorsey introduced over the years, including the Davenport family and the likes of "City" and "Country" (college girls fleeing from a crime they didn't commit). Coleman - drug abuser extraordinaire - gets to shine teaching the college kids how to handle their highs, and even teams up with his mirror character Lenny to complete the circle. It's also one of the books where Serge's skill set - highly inventive ways to kill bad guys or bad tourists - goes into some of his craziest kills yet, including a painfully simple-yet-effective "death by toilet" along with the reinvention of the ballista. But where Serge's violence is wacky fun, the narrative arc for the innocent character Andy - coming to terms with what the drug cartel did to hurt his family - gets deadly serious. It makes for one of Dorsey's most complex and plot-heavy books in the series.

I may be tempted to do a review of all the Serge books next year.


Best Non-Fiction

Revolutionary Roads: Searching for the War That Made America Independent, and All the Places It Could Have Gone Terribly Wrong, Bob Thompson

One of the more interesting historical reads I've seen, where Thompson takes a literal field trip to all the important places across the United States where the foundling nation fighting the British for independence, and does it in chronological order racing from the battlefields of Massachusetts and New York down to the swamps of South Carolina leading to Yorktown. In-between, he visits the smaller yet pivotal flashpoints where bad luck or a bad military order could have ended the fight and the new nation. 

Making this a delight - for an amateur historian like meself - are the interviews Thompson makes with fellow local historians who are well-versed in both the legends and the facts of what happened on those battlefields. One of the highlights in the book is when Thompson arrives at Saratoga, the victory for the Americans that convinced France and other European nations to support the rebellion, and where controversy over Benedict Arnold's role - the hero of Saratoga who ended up as America's greatest betrayer - questioned if he was as big a hero - and as tragic a figure - as common knowledge makes him. Talking with the local historians like Jim Hughto and Eric Schnitzer, Thompson weaves together the complex events of the Battle of Saratoga to give as much insight to the reader as possible... and I'd rather let you read the conclusions on p. 176 of the hardcover for yourself so I can encourage you to check this out.


Best Graphic Novel (or On-Going Series)

Wonder Woman (Dawn of DC series), Tom King writer and Daniel Sampere artist

With all of the in-universe Crises and crossover storylines that have consumed the DC Universe the past 20 years, I tend to be wary of any new reboot of the 'verse that follows all the other confusing reboots that have gone before.

This new Dawn of DC event meant to rebirth the major characters alongside a shared narrative of an Earth - and universe - now hostile to the superheroes that had been brought back from the dead (again) has a base storyline of Amanda Waller - wary of metahumans like never before - working with her government-controlled metahumans and super-powered agencies to remove the Justice League level superheroes along with the supervillains. As part of her plot, she's gotten the United States government - with a puppet President - to outlaw the Amazonian culture and their warriors - meaning Wonder Woman herself - to the point where outright war with the Amazons will be the only result.

In the midst of that, Diana is trying to bridge the gap between the forces and maintain a positive public persona while the media and US government openly attack her and her sisters... and failing, as Wonder Woman's allies in the US find themselves ostracized and as the leaders on Themyscira prepare for a fight.

King has been one of the more reliable writers in the DC 'verse over the years, able to deliver decent plotting and dialog, and I have high hopes he'll do this series well as the Dawn plotline progresses. I'm not familiar with Sampere's work as an artist although he's done previous work on various Superman titles. His work on this series is noticeably beautiful.

As for the whole Dawn of DC narrative... we'll see.


Best Work By Someone I Email, Tweet, or Chat With On a Regular Basis

Starter Villain, John Scalzi

I should be changing this requirement from Twitter to Bluesky as Elon Musk is killing Twitter (no I will NOT call it X), but anyway Scalzi is keeping up with new twisted tales in the science fiction / fantasy genres with this latest novel. A divorced, unhappy guy stuck as a substitute teacher and stuck in a house he inherited from his recently-passed dad finds himself stuck inheriting his uncle's parking garage empire... except that the parking garage empire is a cover for a supervillain empire. The guy Charlie suddenly finds himself competing against fellow supervillains while figuring out the rules of the game: The villainy isn't for blowing up stuff for world domination, it's selling the stuff that can blow up (that's where the real money is). He has to cope with being an evildoer and also coming to terms with the possibility his pet cats might be smarter at this than he is.

Done in a breezy, almost tongue-in-cheek style, with an eye towards deconstructing the James Bond vs. Spectre / GI Joe vs. Cobra narratives that Scalzi's generation (he's a fellow Xer) grew up enjoying, Starter Villain is a good read to get into once you're tired of binge-watching the Marvel shows on Disney-Plus. Get to it, people!


Best Work Including Stuff I Wrote

Funny Locations: Collected Stories, Paul Wartenberg

Finally, I got around to putting together a flash-drive full of short stories I've written since my college years, and piling up since my last collection of stories in the now-out-of-print Last of the Grapefruit Wars from almost 20 years earlier.

Bound around a theme of stories happening in different locales, with a hopefully humorous bent, this is something I hope appeals well to others. It's got a number of stories that I know have gone over well - "Fifth Annual Office Golf Showdown" is an award winner, and "Road Trip To Vegas" made semifinalist for the Royal Palms a few years back - and I mostly hope this self-published effort has all the speeling and grammah eroors all figured oot.

(pause) Goddarnnit...

Okay, all kidding aside. PLEASE do me the honor of buying my book and leaving good reviews anywhere and everywhere, thank you!


Sunday, December 17, 2023

If You Can Do Me a Favor this December 2023

To any of the readers out there who get a copy of my latest work Funny Locations and enjoy even a portion of the stories I offer to you: 

Please leave good reviews of that title both at the Amazon store page and also on the Goodreads website.

My book has its own page already (I didn't even have to edit it in!) at  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/203657876-funny-locations 

It's now # 8,288th on the Amazon bestsellers list
for Fiction Satire!!!


 





Monday, December 11, 2023

New Release: Funny Locations

Apologies for my distractions, but trying to get this uploaded to Amazon Publishing for both paperback and ebook release:

I hope you can see the UFO.
Book cover by M. A. Rehman
a cover artist available on Fiverr

I'll have the official publication date announced once it's confirmed, but the Kindle release is usually within a day.

Update: It's officially published! Amazon has the paperback and the Kindle ebook available for market!

This is a collection of stories ranging from revised / repaired versions released earlier in Last of the Grapefruit Wars (2004) alongside stories I've written and tried submitting in the years since. I have a personal favorite "Road Trip To Vegas" as the opening story - and the inspiration for the cover - all coming from the stories I consider "humor" and based on a diverse map of locales - from Las Vegas to Florida to Florida and Florida and also the Pacific Northwest and a little more Florida and Hong Kong and New Jersey and maybe a spot in Florida and New York City - to justify the book title. /grin

It doesn't include a particular ghost story which does have a road trip theme, because I'm still hoping to find another publication to see interest in it.

So this is how my year works out, people. Hopefully the readership out there will like the stories I tell.

Wednesday, November 29, 2023

NaNoWriMo 2023 Success

Success in that I got to 50,000 words or more towards a nonfiction book!


It's still going to take a lot of work to turn it into an actual printed work.

KEEP WRITING.