A Serious Question To Every Author I Know

Can someone PLEASE point me in the direction of a publication that would be HAPPY to take humor horror type of stories? I've got a vampire biker bar brawl story that I honestly think has potential to be a fun read for people and I can't see ANY publisher out there taking submissions for something like this.

Writer's Market stopped printing a few years back. I'm looking through Submission Grinder for possibilities but I've been getting rejections with the submissions I've done through them over the years. 

I'm tired of the rejections. It's one of the reasons I've gone to self-publish with Funny Locations to get my stories out there to any readers. But some of these stories I have, I'd like to get them submitted to legitimate publications as a kind of validation, you know?

I understand it's a tough market - and it's getting worse with all this AI-generated crap that the publishers are getting swamped - but I would like help finding the right place to submit the kind of stories I write to the people who'll like them.

/sigh

Getting Dumped By the FWA 2018

Why did they even bother to tell me I was a Finalist for the Royal Palms when I wasn't even going to win an actual award for it?

They're telling me that based on the scoring rubrics, I passed the Finalist grade (yay) but because so many others ALSO passed that Finalist grade (argh) I still REALLY didn't earn a Third, Second, or First place.

What a f... (stern pause) Why do this to people, okay?

Don't tell me I'm a Finalist and THEN tell me I didn't actually win anything.

I was better off just thinking from earlier I was a Semi-Finalist (they told me that first) and not a Finalist, because then I wouldn't have been sitting there at the Awards ceremony getting my guts yanked out.