Just Released: Strangely Funny VIII Available in Print and Kindle!

Ahhh yeah, volume VIII is officially released!

You can purchase a print copy or you can purchase the eBook Kindle version!

MANY THANKS to the editors Sarah and Gwen for choosing a line from my "War of the Murder Hornets" story as the quote blurb to help sell the anthology! 

"Just want to let you know, so far we’ve got two of the drafted volunteers reporting sick to the base doctor with severe cases of Aw Hell Naw."

-- Paul Wartenberg, "War of the Murder Hornets"

Squeeeee!!!

PLEASE do get a copy, the stories from this series are worth the read, and PLEASE leave a good review for us, I do hope you enjoy our twisted tales.

OFFICIAL: Strangely Funny V Now Available IN PRINT

The news is out, and so is the sixth volume of Strangely Funny Volume 5.

...

Yeah, and it's supposed to be a trilogy OW stop hitting me.

Best way to find it is on Amazon right now, follow this link here to get to it. The eBook version for Kindle is here too!

You can purchase a copy, but I would suggest holding off on that because as soon as I am able I hope to offer a FREE autographed copy giveaway event to promote this! PLEASE STAY TUNED!

If you don't wanna wait, please do buy a copy and I hope you enjoy my story "The Pumpkin Spice Must Flow." If you do purchase, kindly leave a review for the book please and thanks.

Special Deal on Strangely Funny III

Okay, thanks to the publishers at Mystery & Horror LLC, there's a 50 percent off code for the anthology Strangely Funny III.

All you have to do is go to the Createspace market at http://www.createspace.com/6210217 and type in this code when you get to the Checkout:

7LSEAM9S

and that will make the item half-off.

If you do purchase the book, please take the time to read my story "Minette Dances With the Golem of Albany" and please leave any reviews of the book because the authors who contributed to these anthologies need the uplifting motivation (well, if you liked the story, if you didn't at least make note of our proper grammar and use of punctuation).

Reminder: Barnes & Noble Wiregrass at Wesley Chapel, Saturday May 21

The Local Authors Signing event. The store's address is:
28152 Paseo Dr Suite 100
Wesley Chapel, FL 33543
In case you want to GPS it on Google Maps.

It'll be from 2:00 PM to 4:00 PM, it's a two-story bookstore and they've tended to put us at tables on the second floor. There should be about twenty-five others, and I know that this time around some of the authors from the anthologies Strangely Funny and History and Mystery Oh My will be present.

I hope to get a lot of people to show up to support local authors in general as well as my own work, and there's a lot of different genres - romance, teen, travel, true crime, inspirational, science fiction, fantasy, mystery and thriller - to choose from.

In Which We Annoy Author Nathan Cromwell - We Think - With Five Questions Until He Gives Us Ice Cream

Once again, with many thanks to fellow writers who submitted stories to the upcoming Strangely Funny III humor/horror anthology coming soon to print and currently for purchase with Amazon Kindle, I have questions to pose, answers in need, and craving for... for... PEPPERMINT!

MUST

HAVE

THE MINTY FLAVOR OF A WARM WINTER NIGHT!

...I've been told it's April and I should stick to my diet.

Oh, right. The interview with writer Nathan Cromwell. Kind of goes like this:

Question 1: What inspired you to write stories with a humorous bent?

In high school I read “The Idol’s Eye” by S. J. Perelman in a humor anthology and hunted up a book of his writing. I was so taken by the joy of language and sense of play that I wanted to do that, too.

Question 2: Which is harder, writing a horror scene or writing a humor scene?

About equal, but if I see the characters clearly the scenes come together faster. Both shoot for an emotional response from a subjective audience. You can overcome the ‘I don’t like that kind of humor’/‘that doesn’t scare me’ hurdles by making sure the reader understands and cares about your character. If you set it up right, they will hold their collective breaths as the banshee creeps up on the ingenue, and laugh when it gets a face full of expertly thrown coconut creme pie.

Question 3: So was Mad Max Fury Road robbed of Best Picture at the Oscars or what?!

Splunge! (I’m not being indecisive.)

MEDIOCRE! (covers mouth with Wilton 710 Silver Mist Food Spray)

Question 4: If you had a choice between classic monsters - the vampire, the golem, the werewolf, the ghost, the gill-man - which one would you throw a coconut custard pie with whipped cream at?

Ghost—because when it passes through and hits the person you really wanted to paste, you can look all innocent and say, ‘I was aiming for the ghost, dude’.

Question 5: and why did that pie end up hitting Humphrey Bogart instead?

Because Bogart is a ghost, trapped to incorporeally repeat actions from when he was alive and be seen by people sitting in dark rooms, and, as I’ve noted above, I love throwing me some pies at ghosties.

About the author:

Nathan Cromwell does not exist except as Ken Hueler, who will tell you to go looking for Nathan Cromwell because he can point you to Ken Hueler who has information on Nathan Cromwell, which he secured during an intense interrogation scene with Ken Hueler who admits seeing Nathan Cromwell on that very night in question.

His recipe for greasy grimy gopher rice cake can be found at https://nathancromwell.wordpress.com/ and whatever you do DON'T CLICK on that 3-Dimensional Icon of Bill Cipher in the third-left-hand-corner of the UNIVERSE!
...
You clicked it, didn't you?
/universe ends

In Which We Host an Interview with Writer Rosalind Barden

As the readership here knows, I'm getting published in the upcoming Strangely Funny III humor-horror anthology (Kindle ebook version now available) and so I've been taking to interview the fellow submitting writers about various topics of humor, horror, and pie throwing.

But today I'm offering up a more serious interview with a writer with a broad range of successful publications (also, Sarah Glenn thwacked me on the head and said "BEHAVE"). So here now is a Q&A with Rosalind Barden (you may have seen her work in the same anthologies I've been published like the first Strangely Funny, Mardi Gras Murder, and History And Mystery Oh My).

Q. What would you like people to know about you?

I draw too!  My drawings tend to be tongue-in-cheek, like my writing.  I have a dancing TV and an architecturally significant Silverlake skunk, among others, on t-shirts, mugs and so on, at CafePress


Q. When did you begin writing?

When I was a kid.


Q. How did you get the idea for your story in Strangely Funny III?

I wrote the first draft soon after I toured a 1920s Downtown Los Angeles movie palace.  Movies used to be developed on silver nitrate film, and there was discussion during the tour about how dangerously flammable it is.  Modern film stock is safer, but the depth and sparkle of the silver nitrate is lost.  Because the surviving silver nitrate films are so dangerous, it is hard to find them screened.  Of course, with this bit of information, my mind wandered and a wereman got involved.

Q. Is there a genre you haven't written in, but would like to?

I have an idea for a fantasy, but it'll have to wait until I have the time to write it.

Q. Who are your current favorite authors? What do you enjoy about them?

P.G. Wodehouse is my current and long-time favorite.  I love his sense of fun.

Q. What are you working on next?

A short and a long mystery.

Q. What is your favorite writing snack food/drink?

Hazelnuts when I'm good.  Chocolate when I'm less good.  Both when I'm neither good nor bad.


Rosalind's bio:

Over thirty of Rosalind Barden's short stories have appeared in print anthologies and webzines, including the U.K.'s acclaimed WHISPERS OF WICKEDNESS. Mystery and Horror LLC has included her stories in their anthologies MARDI GRAS MURDER, STRANGELY FUNNY, STRANGELY FUNNY 2 1/2, and HISTORY AND MYSTERY OH MY!, winner of the Florida Authors and Publishers Association President's Book Award Silver Medal. Ellen Datlow selected her short story LION FRIEND as a Best Horror of the Year Honorable Mention after it appeared in CERN ZOO, a British Fantasy Society nominee for best anthology, part of DF Lewis' award winning NEMONYMOUS anthology series. TV MONSTER is her print children's book that she wrote and illustrated. Her satirical literary novel AMERICAN WITCH is available as an e-book. In addition, her scripts, novel manuscripts and short fiction have placed in numerous competitions, including the Writers Digest Screenplay Competition and the Shriekfast Film Festival. She lives in Los Angeles, California. Discover more at RosalindBarden.com.

In Which We Haunt Kevin Wetmore Until He Agrees To Answer These Three... FIVE QUESTIONS!

As part of promoting the new-to-Kindle and soon-to-be-in-print Strangely Funny III Anthology, I am blackmailing the writers who submitted to the anthology to answer these three FIVE questions so that they may cross the Bridge of DEATH passing over the Gorge of Eternal Peril.

Today's victim is Kevin Wetmore. ANSWER THE QUESTIONS, ERE THE OTHER SIDE HE SEE!

WETMORE: Ask me the questions, Blogkeeper! I'm not afraid!

Question 1: What inspired you to write stories with a humorous bent?

I think my output goes back and forth between straight horror and humorous horror.  I'll write a piece about a haunted house killing children and then turn around and write a story about a family of ghouls adopting a retired cadaver dog.  I think being a horror fan is to appreciate the grim side of things.  It also doesn't hurt that in my other life I am a standup comedian.  One of the most memorable moments of television when I was a child was watching "An Evening at the Improv" hosted by Vincent Price, one of my favorite actors (I was a weird kid).  Price came out and said he thought the audience might be surprised to see an actor known for horror hosting a comedy show, but he has a sense of humor, just like everyone else.  He then paused and said, "So, two mangled corpses walk into a bar..."  I thought it was a great joke, but also a good setup for straight horror too.  I look back and think, man when I heard that joke, on some level I thought "I want to do that, too." 

Question 2: Which is harder, writing a horror scene or writing a humor scene?

For me, no question - horror is harder.  I find it pretty easy to slide into the absurd or the humourously grotesque.  In fact, sometimes it is a problem in writing horror in that I realize I am drifting into parody or camp or the piece is so over the top it is not scary but kinda goofy.  Writing a scene that stays with the reader, that gives her or him the chills and cuts a little deeper is always a challenge for me.

Question 3: So was Mad Max Fury Road robbed of Best Picture at the Oscars or what?!

Yeah, but are you surprised?  All of the awards ignore genre except for special effects.  The fact that Norman Reedus has never been nominated for an Emmy or a Golden Globe for "Walking Dead" is proof that the award-givers are prejudiced against genre.  And, speaking now as an actor as well, which is harder: to play a realistic scene in an office or a bedroom and make people believe it is real or to play a scene which has animated corpses attacking people and make the audience believe it?  In terms of good, old-fashioned filmmaking, Mad Max Fury Road (with mostly in camera effects and an A list cast) deserved far more recognition than it has gotten.  But remember, the year Citizen Kane came out, "How Green Was My Valley" won Best Picture; the Year Star Wars was released (a film, it should be noted which might just be the most influential film in history), "Annie Hall" won best picture.  Which one now appears dated and which one has profoundly changed Hollywood?  Awards mean nothing.  Did you like it?  Good.  Who cares who else recognizes it?

Question 4: If you had a choice between classic monsters - the vampire, the golem, the werewolf, the ghost, the gill-man - which one would you throw a coconut custard pie with whipped cream at?

Easy question - werewolf.  When he stops to lick his fur clean, you can capture him and then the fun really begins.  It'd be wasted on the others (goes through a ghost, falls off the gill-man, and what good is cream pie on a golem? 

Question 5: and why did that pie end up hitting Humphrey Bogart instead?

Long story.  The point is, we all agreed not to sue each other and Bogart and the werewolf ended up buying a timeshare together.  Happy ending!

Fools.

The real answer to EACH QUESTION was and forever is: Not Enough Llama. Prepare for the incoming punishment...

Kevin Wetmore is an actor/writer/stunt coordinator/piemaker/carwasher/academic professor/bellboy from the corrupt multi-dimensional prison known as Los Angeles. He has strong alibis regarding his whereabouts on all occasions due to his busy work schedule, so he doesn't have to answer any further questions regarding that incident with the guy at that place with the thing, besides he has an attorney on the way and he knows his Miranda rights, so there nyah.

In Which We Question Writer David Court Before It's Too Late

As part of promoting the newly-released-to-Kindle and soon-to-be-print Strangely Funny III, I sent the editors Sarah Glenn and Gwen Mayo a series of questions to pass along to the other writers published within that anthology so I can post their replies.

I got responses.

Foolish mortals.

First up is this fellow from a fantastical, imaginary place called the United Kingdom. The victim's writer's name is David Court, more about his surviving relatives him in a moment.

Question 1: What inspired you to write stories with a humorous bent?

I think humour and horror are ideal bed-fellows.  Both achieve a physical reaction from the reader or listener, which is what we're all trying to achieve really, isn't it?  Laughter or wincing, it's all good..!

Question 2: Which is harder, writing a horror scene or writing a humor scene?

I'm often told that my attempts at writing horror are hilarious, and my comedic writing is horrific - so clearly to my harshest of critics, both are hard to the point of impossibility.

Question 3: So was Mad Max Fury Road robbed of Best Picture at the Oscars or what?!

Never a truer word.  And how George Miller can get a best visual effects Oscar for a film about a talking pig, but not one features dozens of incredibly choreographed visually stunning car chases baffles me (and probably him) to this very day.  Fury Road was so good it almost erased my memory of Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome (tagline: One film enters; No good film leaves).

Question 4: If you had a choice between classic monsters - the vampire, the golem, the werewolf, the ghost, the gill-man - which one would you throw a coconut custard pie with whipped cream at?

Depends on the sprinkles.  Any monster-hunter worth his salt carries a pouch of pie toppings in case such an occasion should occur; Garlic salt for vampires, those little silver balls for werewolves, anti-algae pellets for gill-men.  For your typical Golem it's not the topping that is important but a good aim - as long as your shot can cover the leading 'e' in the Hebrew scrawling on its forehead (thereby changing the inscription from "truth" to "death") you'll deactivate that sucker. And pies are frankly wasted on ghosts - their ethereal nature puts paid to that.

Question 5: and why did that pie end up hitting Humphrey Bogart instead?

Due to decades of exposure, it's a scientific fact (citation needed: checked with a scientist) that the classic Universal monsters each have such a huge ego, that every one of them is capable of generating its own gravitational field.  Thus, any pie launched in their vicinity will slingshot around for some considerable time.  As a result of this, due to a combination of the positioning of them,  the time of day and bio rhythmic cycles, the ultimate target is scientifically next to impossible to predict.  In any case, the aforementioned ghost might have been Humphrey Bogart. 

About David Court:

David Court was born and resides in Coventry, UK with his patient wife and his three less patient cats. A few years back David achieved minor internet notoriety under the pseudonym FoldsFive for his animated GIFs telling the entirety of the Star Wars Trilogy, a fact that he's still jolly well proud of and insists on telling anyone at any opportunity. When not reading, blogging angrily on www.foldsfive.co.uk, drinking real ale, writing software for a living or practicing his poorly developed telekinetic skills, he can be found writing fiction.  His short stories "A Shadow Cast by the World" and "Undercurrent" were published in the horror anthologies "Fear's Accomplice" and "Terror at the beach" in 2014. His first collection of short stories - The Shadow Cast by the World was published in 2013 with Forever and Ever, Armageddon released a year later.

Happy Easter and Some Writing Announcements

Just saying, this Easter Sunday, that I want to announce a few things.

1) Mystery And Horror LLC publishing has accepted another humorous short from me for their upcoming Strangely Funny III, their popular ongoing humor/horror anthology series. Still waiting on word for when the release date will be - hopefully soon in April - but meanwhile here's the cover for the upcoming print:

2) I've been invited back to the Barnes & Noble Local Authors Event in Wesley Chapel, FL this year. This event will be on Saturday afternoon during May 21st from 2:00 to 4:00 PM. There hasn't been final confirmation and paperwork yet, but I should get something soon.

3) Finishing up a pair of stories for the FWA. The story I hoped to submit to the "Hide and Seek" anthology - a science fiction idea I've had for a decade called "Problem Solver" that needed to be finished - is turning out too long. It's twice the length of the word count, so there's no way I can whittle it down. So I've started a second story about finding the Book With the Blue Cover in the Library Infinite (What's the classical Greek for "Infinite"? Same word, just pronounced a bit different?) which I have to keep below 1500 words.

Award update: History and Mystery Oh My

If you'll recall last July I reported the anthology History and Mystery Oh My was up for a state-wide award with the Florida Authors and Publishers Association. I found out from the editor Sarah Glenn today that, yes, the book won silver with the President's Award for Short Story Form.

So today when I met with Sarah and her partner in crime Gwen Mayo to gather autographs - copies of some of the Mystery and Horror LLC publications are being donated to the Florida Library Association for 2016 Annual Conference this March - they brought along a medallion award for me to pose with.

If my mom ever sees this, I'm a dead man.

Trying to make a face like that while posing for a picture is harder than it looks...

In other awards news for this same anthology: The Agathas - a big-time "cozy mystery" literary award - nominated TWO shorts for 2015: “A Questionable Death” by Edith Maxwell, and “Suffer the Poor” by Harriette Sackler.

Congratulations to Edith and Harriette! The awards are given out this April, so we'll see how it goes.

Writing News: History and Mystery Oh My Up For an Award

Just received word that History and Mystery Oh My! is a finalist for the Short Fiction award presented by the Florida Authors And Publishers Association's President Awards.

Many congratulations to Sarah Glenn and Gwen Mayo for the nomination, and here's hoping they win it on August 8th!

Presenting: Nightmare Noir by Alex Azar

Mystery and Horror LLC, publisher of anthologies such as Strangely Funny, Mardi Gras Murder, and History And Mystery Oh My! is proud to offer their first full novel by writer Alex Azar: Nightmare Noir.

Cover art: TJ Halvorsen

Nightmare Noir opens the casebook of Detective James S. Peckman, taking us into the underbelly of a world where true evil exists. After his wife and daughter dies under supernatural circumstances, Peckman leaves the police force to pursue the monsters most believe exist only in nightmares. Now, Peckman and his partners take the cases that cannot be explained in the world we think we know.

Writer Alex Azar is born and raised in New Jersey. He made the courageous decision to leave the glamorous life of an electrical engineer student behind and concentrate full time on his life long passion of writing. He is now a happily struggling author. This is his first full length publication (so I know what he's going through...).

Release date for Alex's novel is set for April 13, 2015.  As part of this exciting new release, Mystery and Horror LLC is promoting a FREE book giveaway through Goodreads!  (for those who don't know, Goodreads is dedicated to sharing and promoting books owned and read by thousands of readers, and it's FREE to join.  You might notice I've got a window to my Goodreads bookshelf over on the right of the screen...)  The giveaway at Goodreads is for the whole month so you've got until April 30th to click on the Enter to Win button at the giveaway page linked above.

Mystery and Horror LCC will offer TWO more FREE book giveaways as well!  Just visit M&H LCC's blog site and post a comment on the Midnight Noir page.  You can also post a comment here - there's a link somewhere mutter grumble where'd I put it - and that will count towards the publisher's giveaway.  Deadline for the blog comment giveaways is also April 30th!   Quick update, the drawing might be THIS Sunday, April 5th, so PLEASE get comments in by Saturday if you're interested!

Good luck to Alex with his first novel!