I Write Like... Paul Wartenberg! ...Nah...

So there's this new website that the bloggers and twitters are chirping aboot called I Write Like.  As a writer I was tempted to submit my short stories for comparisons...

"Banging the Pipes," The earliest short story that I have the most love for came back as writing like... James Joyce.

I write like
James Joyce

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Whew.  Previously I submitted just the first few paragraphs but that came back as Dan Brown (AUUUUGHHH)

For "Fifth Annual Office Golf Showdown," the short story that actually won Second Place for a contest, I wrote that like

I write like
David Foster Wallace

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Who is actually a name I recognize but never read (the short story is entirely dialogue, I wonder if that has an effect).

For the last short story in my story collection Last of the Grapefruit Wars, "Snipe Hunt," that came back as

I write like
Vladimir Nabokov

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Which is weird: when I submitted just the first three pages it came back as Stephen King.

You know what?  All this inconsistency. I write like Paul Wartenberg.  So there.